My last stronghold against overwhelming technological advances fell this summer when I bought a Blackberry. My cheap, free flip-open phone was great. I could communicate with the world but its' technological simplicity kept the modern world at bay. No, I didn't text. In fact I treated texting like Green Eggs and Ham; I would not eat or text them Sam I Am.
Enter my great deal on a Blackberry. Even though my fingers usually hit 2 keys at once I was texting because I couldn't call anyone anymore because no one calls anymore but sends texts. As I began to figure out all the applications my Blackberry took the place of my watch, alarm clock, most computer functions and the need to use my voice to communicate on the phone. I can now text like a 16 year old girl texting her best friend saying bad things about her other best friend. I progressed but regressed. My Blackberry is now an appendage and carried around like a medal of honor.
I don't drive and text-that's utterly stupid! I will talk on the phone on the highway but no texting. When I do text I'm committed. Hours-long sessions seem the norm now, much to the chagrin of my wife who is Blackberry-jealous; not of the phone but of the time I spend on it sometimes texting her friends for her when she's too busy to text herself...(hmmm, now that I see that in print it sounds kinda weird-like I'm doing her a favor texting her friends?). I feel like the Age of Aquarius is here and I'm Up, Up and Away with my Blackberry.
R.I.P. old notions about texting and barring the door against advancement. I wasn't dragged through kicking and screaming. I quietly snuck in and intermingled with the others already there and made them believe I was one of them by flashing my Blackberry and texting my wife, who was stuck at home writing a research paper with the old flip-phone her means of communication. Texting-unfriendly, the flip phone is a dinosaur from the distant past-2 years to be precise.